Lord of the Rings Christmas Songs
by Minions of the Bandit King
Summary: Yay! The Songz RETURN! Yes, after a year, we finally update. New song is kinda weird.
1. The Twelve Days of Christmas

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except for the idea to write this.  
  
Note: We say annoying cousins (Merry and Pippin) but they're our favs so don't think we're insulting them. Annoying is fun to be!  
  
Another note: WE CAN'T SPEL TO SAVE OUR LIVES!  
  
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On the first day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
A Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the second day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the third day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the fourth day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the fifth day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
5 po-ta-toes!  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the sixth day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
6 unmentioned scenes  
  
5 po-ta-toes  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the seventh day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
7 CGI characters  
  
6 unmentioned scenes  
  
5 po-ta-toes  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the eighth day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
8 lines switched  
  
7 CGI characters  
  
6 unmentioned scenes  
  
5 po-ta-toes  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the ninth day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
9 corrupted Ringwraiths  
  
8 lines switched  
  
7 CGI characters  
  
6 unmentioned scenes  
  
5 po-ta-toes  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the tenth day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
10 romantic scenes  
  
9 corrupted Ringwraiths  
  
8 lines switched  
  
7 CGI characters  
  
6 unmentioned scenes  
  
5 po-ta-toes  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
11 Frodo spasms  
  
10 romantic scenes  
  
9 corrupted Ringwraiths  
  
8 lines switched  
  
7 CGI characters  
  
6 unmentioned scenes  
  
5 po-ta-toes  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree  
  
On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Fellowship gave to me:  
  
12 different races  
  
11 Frodo spasms  
  
10 romantic scenes  
  
9 corrupted Ringwraiths  
  
8 lines switched  
  
7 CGI characters  
  
6 unmentioned scenes  
  
5 po-ta-toes  
  
4 prosthetic feet  
  
3-hour movies  
  
2 annoying cousins  
  
And a Crebain in a dead tree!  
  
=*=*=*=**=*==**==*=*=**=*==*  
  
Now all you have to do is sing this everywhere to annoy ppl and press that lovely button that says, "submit review." 


	2. Jingle Bells

A/N: Don't own.  
  
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Jingle bells, Sauron smells  
  
Boromir passed away  
  
Elendil missed some meals  
  
But no one cares today-ay  
  
Jingle bells, Sauron smells  
  
Boromir passed away  
  
Elendil missed some meals  
  
But no one cares today  
  
Dashing through Middle-earth  
  
While Gollum leads the way  
  
No more lembas left  
  
We'll just starve toay- ha, ha, ha  
  
Orcs in Helm's Deep cry  
  
From down yonder and nigh  
  
Oh what fun it is to tease Saruman tonight- oh  
  
Jingle bells, Sauron smells  
  
Boromir passed away  
  
Elendil missed some meals  
  
But no one cares today-ay  
  
Jingle bells, Sauron smells  
  
Boromir passed away  
  
Elendil missed some meals  
  
But no one cares today  
  
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Response to reviewers:  
  
Guardian Elf Angel= You have our author consent to use any of our ideas. We don't mind. Just let FanFiction know or else they'll remove your story. 


	3. Deck the Halls

A/N: Guess who doesn't own?  
  
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Deck My. Doom with lots 'o amour  
  
Fa la la la la, la la la la  
  
Make the Uruk-hai work much harder  
  
Fa la la la la, la la la la  
  
Watch Mt. Doom blow up in ashes  
  
Fa la la, la la la la la la  
  
Aren't you glad Sauron's made of matches  
  
Fa la la la la, la la la la  
  
Join us for the new king's crowning  
  
Fa la la la la, la la la la  
  
No one will really be frowning  
  
Fa la la la la, la la la la  
  
Cast the sails we're ready to leave  
  
Fa la la, la la la la la la  
  
Over the ocean and across the sea  
  
Fa la la la la, la la la la 


	4. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

DM/CG: Had a bit of fun writing this. Words might be a LITTLE off.  
  
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She's the most frightening creature around!  
  
With poison a- flowing  
  
And long fangs a- showing  
  
She's really a fear  
  
She's the most frightening creature around  
  
She makes scary old stories  
  
And tales of the follies of dark days long, long ago!  
  
OH!  
  
She's the most frightening creature around!  
  
With poison a- flowing  
  
And long fangs a- showing  
  
She's really a fear  
  
She's the most frightening creature around  
  
She makes scary old stories  
  
And tales of the follies of dark days long, long ago! 


	5. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reigndeer

Dragonmistress and Celticgirl: Welcome to the only story we update! We don't own and this is a requested song by Thea-chan.  
  
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Sauron the big, scary eye  
  
(Eye)  
  
Had a very fiery glow  
  
(Like a volcano)  
  
And if you ever saw it  
  
(Saw it)  
  
You would say he's quite a show  
  
(Like the movies!)  
  
All of the other villains  
  
(Villains)  
  
Used to laugh and call him names  
  
(Like Cyclops)  
  
They never let poor Sauron  
  
(Sauron)  
  
Join in and destruction games  
  
(Like Orc-opoly)  
  
Then one foggy, gloomy eve  
  
Morgoth came to say  
  
(Mwa, ha, ha)  
  
"Sauon with your eye so bright,  
  
Won't you destroy Middle-earth with me tonight"  
  
Then how the Valor hated him  
  
(Hated him)  
  
As they screamed out in horror  
  
("Oh, no!")  
  
"Sauron the big, scary eye,  
  
You'll be king of Mordor!"  
  
(Like  
  
*is there another king of Mordor?*  
  
Aragorn!  
  
*he's not king of Mordor, nitwit!*)  
  
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Hallah! We're finished! Yeah we know Sauron wasn't always a big eye, but it went well with the song. SO THERE! 


	6. Twas the Night Before Christmas

DM: Request by Cheeky-bear007!  
  
Note 2 her: We already wrote this and was actually waiting for someone to request it.  
  
Note 2 all: This is a mixture of a bunch of battles from ROTK, the book. Oh, and we don't own.  
  
*==**=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*  
  
'Twas the night before the battle  
  
And all through Middle-earth  
  
Not even a Halfling showed signs of mirth  
  
The forces were arrayed from Gondor to Rohan  
  
In hopes that the battle would soon be won  
  
The Hobbits were stuck with a woman and pyro  
  
While their cousin was being misled quite so  
  
And Aragorn in his armour and I in my cap  
  
Had just settled down to look at our map  
  
When out on the field there arose such a clatter  
  
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter  
  
Away to Shadowfax I flew like a flash  
  
Tore across the field at a mad dash  
  
The sun on the breast of the horizon  
  
Was barely seen (thanks to Sauron)  
  
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear  
  
Sauron's mouth wearing an evil sneer  
  
With a little servant so lively and quick  
  
I knew in a moment I was going to be sick  
  
More rapid than eagles, the forces I cried  
  
Unto every name that had allied  
  
"Now Gondor! Now Rohan! Nor Eomer! Now Eowyn!  
  
On Merry! On Pippin! On Beregund and Theoden!  
  
To the top of the horses; get ready to brawl  
  
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"  
  
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly  
  
When they meet with an obstacle, look to the sky  
  
So up to the orc army they ran  
  
With swords ready and arrows at hand  
  
And then in the blazes, I heard a small noise  
  
The anxiousness of all the young boys  
  
As I turned my head, and was looking around  
  
Down the field Sauron's mouth came with a bound  
  
We were dressed in all amour from our heads to our feet  
  
And our hair was all tarnished from ashes and sleet  
  
A bundle of arrows Legolas had on his back  
  
With three swords included in his pack  
  
The stars how they dimmed! The night was not merry  
  
Our cheeks were like roses, our noses like cherries  
  
Sauron's mouth ordered an assault by bow  
  
Hoping, for sure, the king didn't know  
  
The stump of my pipe was still tight in my teeth  
  
And the smoke encircled my head like a wreath  
  
Now wasn't the time for me to be smoking  
  
The battle wasn't fun- and I'm not joking!  
  
It was cold and dreary, with help from one elf  
  
And I lost all hope, in spite of myself  
  
Aragorn looked at me and nodded his head  
  
And gave me to know I had nothing to dread  
  
He spoke not a word, but went onto battle  
  
Fearing not the sounds like dying cattle  
  
And raising a finger up in the air  
  
He ordered an attack from upon his mare  
  
We sprang into action  
  
And lost more than a fraction  
  
We charged on so bravely  
  
But lost men gravely  
  
The battle was won  
  
Yet the war was not done  
  
Happy battle to all  
  
And to all a good fight!  
  
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Riddle 4 U: Who's POV is this told from? 


	7. Two Front Teeth

DM: We live! More X-mas songz! Yeah a bit immature and the words are off yippee!

Every body stops

And stares at me

This giant eye

Ain't hard to see

I know just who

I'll blame for this catastrophe!

But my one wish on right now

Is as plain as it can be!

All I want right now

Is that darn One Ring,

That darn One Ring,

See that darn One Ring!

Gee, if I could only

Have that darn One Ring,

Then I could kill

Those stupid people

It seems so long since I could say,

"I'm the dark lord of Mordor! Ha!"

Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,

If I could only have it (grrrrr)

All I want right now

Is that darn One Ring,

That darn One Ring,

See that darn One Ring.

Gee, if I could only

Have that darn One Ring,

Then I could kill

Those stupid people


End file.
